The Darkroom

Last week one of the sister missionaries asked me what it was like to have lived with the influence of Christ versus the Gift of the Holy Ghost. She was baptized at age eight and can't remember what it was like before receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I remarked that it was "amazing" but I don't feel like I really fully answered the question.

A couple of weeks ago I was developing x-rays in the darkroom by myself. It had been a trying week complete with very serious family problems that just seemed to be getting worse. Kneeling in prayer while waiting for the x-rays to develop, I poured out my frustrations to Heavenly Father. Then I listened and was answered with a question. "What is the purpose of life", the Holy Ghost whispered to me. My mind went back to Gospel Principles class and I started rattling off reasons for our mortal existence. The Holy Ghost replied, "To become more like Him." I desperately tried to understand His point and the word "Patience" floated into my mind. Imagine my surprise when in Relief Society meeting the following week, I watched Sister Stoddard write the word "Patience" on the chalkboard.  My jaw actually dropped when she said that our trials cause us to learn patience which helps us to be more like Him.  The darkroom experience was starting to make a little more sense.

Yesterday, I was in a rush to run an errand that I found completely annoying. In my haste and aggravation, I had a fender bender with the car in front of me. Did I mention I just bought a new car less than a month ago? Murphy's Law had to be at play here. After the accident, I asked the Holy Ghost in a kind of annoyed tone what the purpose of that accident could be especially since I already have so much on my plate. He said very quietly and very calmly, "I cannot force you to learn patience." Pardon my Karate Kid reference, but it was quite a Mr. Miyagi moment for me. Wax on.... wax off. Wax on..... wax off. Someday I might learn patience but obviously today was not the day.

So hopefully, this better answers how the Gift of the Holy Spirit has changed my life. Some of these lessons are painful but I do know they are for my own good.

by Rachel Roark