"Outmatched"

  

  The mouthguard made it difficult to breathe and the taekwondo sparring gear only contributed to the claustrophobia. On Friday nights the blackbelts at my taekwondo school duke it out in sparring matches. My opponent was an extremely quick and fit sixteen year old young man who was luring me into a corner of the ring and patiently waiting. My instructor yelled, "Come on, Rachel!" as I reluctantly tried to move in for a series of kicks. That is precisely when my opponent twirled around with seemless ease and kicked the tar out of me several times. Reeling from the acute pain of the blows, the pitiful sound of my jagged breaths taunted me as I tried to compose myself. What in the world was I even doing here? What was I trying to prove? The thought of being a thirty-eight year old overweight woman who could barely breathe let alone fight just crushed my spirit. 

  It had been this way in my personal life as well for several months now. Just as progress was starting to be made a sneak attack from the adversary seemed to pummel the hope right out of me. In my taekwondo sparring gear and in my personal life one fact was becoming more and more apparent. I was completely and totally outmatched. 

  For about ten seconds the thought of just quitting, getting out of the ring and just sitting down filled my mind. The thought was interrupted by the voice of my taewondo Master yelling, "Come on, Rachel. Side kick. Defense. More!" My taekwondo Master would not have put in me in this match had he not thought that I would learn something. And likewise Heavenly Father doesn't put us into battle without good cause. In that critical moment, the realization that it is alright to be outmatched overtook me. The resolve to play defense and just withstand the physical and spiritual blows gave me a sense of peace and satisfaction. Losing the match is acceptable as long as we stay in the fight and retain our dignity. As believers, we know who wins in the end.

D&C 88:112-116