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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Visiting Teaching - Special Needs - Me?

I have lived in this ward/area a LONG time and have had many Visiting Teaching Companionships. Some of the women have become my best friends (like Karen Bateman and Kay Hollingsworth) and others I have "endured".
As Laurie Johnson and I work on Visiting Teaching each month and try to figure out where to fill the holes and with whom, I am reminded of a woman I was asked to visit teach with and it wasn't an easy fit. I would make appointments when I thought she "might" not be able to go as it would be easier for me to sit and talk without her "prickly" presence in the room. She always wanted to get right to the lesson and I would want to wander around it. She did not agree with me always bringing a treat and I did not like her telling me what to do. It was a difficult service experience for me. (And certainly for her too.)
I was concerned that the women we visited would pick up the fact that we were so uncomfortable with each other!
I really could not complain about her. She was always willing to go (at very specific times and dates) and she was willing to make appointments (for those specific times and dates) and/or teach the lesson. We just did not gel. Consequently I do not believe the "Charity Never Faileth" applied here because I do not think I had much Charity.
We were eventually changed but I have always felt badly about how I handled this Visiting Teaching assignment with her and how I had really missed the whole point of what Visiting Teaching is about.
This September Visiting Teaching Message concerns appreciating the "Special Needs" of the women we visit. The question might be, in my case anyway, who had more "needs" than I did at that time? Sometimes each of us might need a little extra encouragement from each other; or a little extra slack from each other; OR just a recognition that any relationship is work and have we put "work" into the person we visit teach with as well as the women we are called to visit?
When I read the lesson this month in the ENSIGN, I laughed out loud as I wondered - at various times in my "visiting teaching life" who has had more "needs" than me? How many times did I think my ways of going about the visits were "special"!
I think the whole Visiting Teaching dynamic can be difficult. And I think it is supposed to be challenging as we stretch ourselves to be with people we did not chose and we are being asked to "watch over" people who might not want our help or time.
I do appreciate all the many ways the women in this ward stretch themselves to work with the women they visit teach as well as the partnerships.
I hope we will continue to "watch care" over the sisters  - whether they have "special needs" or not.

2 comments:

Ruth said...

Thanks for this thought, Jeanne. I agree that all relationships take work--even friendships. But I have never regretted any relationship I have put effort into. :)

Rachel Roark said...

Jeanne... this is really good stuff! I like the part about stretching and getting out of our comfort zones.